Bill is a bunny

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Adios, Corbin!

Well, as y'all probably already know, Corbin Vidrine is leaving us for the greener pastures of Houston, TX. I wish him all the best and everything but cannot help but feel a tad pissed as well. Thing start going really great and the rug gets pulled out from under you. Don't worry, I spent a couple of days pouting then decided to get back up on the wyld stallion of rock n' roll and attempt to make her mine once more. We've got a ringer for Corbin that will hopefully be able to play gigs with us through September then we need a more permanent fix. Anyone know any keyboard players that are not shooting heroin or have excrutiating personalities?

Tensions are running high here in Vidrineland. We don't seem to know what to do regarding the album. Should we release it? Should we scrap it? I lean toward releasing it myself, if only as a memento of this lineup. It sure was a good one.

I keep hoping Corbin will suddenly change his mind about moving after we play our last two shows and decide to become a fulltime Vidrine. Not as much money as webdesign but the pay off in grace for the soul of man should make up for it. This is not going to happen though. Corbin is gone and leaves a big Corbin-shaped hole in our lives. But we'll caaaarrrrrrrrrry ooooooooon!

Monday, July 11, 2005

26 and what have I learned?

Sorry about the lack of updates around here. Just haven't been in the mood or something.

So, I turned 26 this past week and feel pretty good about everything more or less. I miss some people I have lost touch with but have gained new friends to make up for these losses. Or not. Some of these people (Shonali Kulkarni comes readily to mind) cannot be replaced. And one should not even attempt that with true friends. To those I have lost touch with: I realize I am at fault but please understand this was not intentional. I'm selfish, as you already know, and lose sight of what is really important. What is really important is up to interpretation.

This weekend was fantastic on many levels. The Vidrines played a couple of cities and traveled together without major incident. The differences in our characters came out over the 48 hours or so we were together but I feel these inconsistencies strengthened the whole of our resolve in this project. I love those boys, I really do.

A few problems arose on a personal (probably ego-driven) level. A few folks in Baton Rouge told me after the show I should consider going into acting. Like, really go into acting. I know they meant these comments as compliments but they kinda stung. Am I a good front man for this band? I know I cannot sing and this creates a large hole in my creative life. My voice is weak and sometimes in the past I have considered this a strength in terms of conveying narrative and emotional gravitas within a song. But what if I'm wrong? What if this is all just posturing bullshit from a silly 26 year old man-child? Maybe my talent is a lot more limited than I thought. Some guys even offered to sing back-up vocals for us in the future because they could see something good in The Vidrines but thought some real musical talent on the vocal side of things would make everything better. And they may be right.

But fuck them. I guess I'll live and die in this band by my own meager talents and anyone who can (presumably) do better should busy themselves in finding a group of musicians to collaborate with. Mine. Got me? This is MINE. Go get your own. I worked really hard on all this and don't feel shitty in telling y'all to fuck off. I know I'm not the only one working on this band but I worked hard too. So keep those comments to yourselves. It hurt my (admittedly senstive) feelings. Get your own band. Y'all might be better. Try it.

I also got a little jealous of Ronnie this weekend. He tends to get more attention from folks after the shows which kinda smarts as well. Specifically girls. I want cute blondes to talk to me after the shows in a flirtatious manner. I wnat geeked out coke heads to ramble on for hours about how cool they think I am and how I resemble a young Tom Waits (or some other respectable performer). I mean, this is all ego driven bullroar but I kinda mean it. But y'know what? Ronnie deserves it for all the work he's been doing for and in the band. Good for him. I'm just jealous. I should also keep in mind how nasty I look when I come off the stage, dripping with sweat and what not and I'm sure these girls would prefer a reasonably sane, dry and tall individual to compliment. Well, I'll never be any of those things and shouldn't sweat it too much.

The folks in Shreveport and Baton Rouge were really nice. Thanks everybody!