Bill is a bunny

Monday, March 20, 2006

Here's to you, Mr. Robinson.

Today was the first day of LEAP testing for Monroe City Schools and my first experience with it ever, discounting whatever the hell I did when I was in 7th Grade. Since I have no proper teaching credentials I got to be a hall monitor, which basically means I sat in the hallway and read Patrick McCabe's The Butcher Boy for about five hours without a cigarette. Occasionally I got to watch a tracher's class while they went to the can or whatever but pretty much all I did was read. Which was kind of nice. Except for one moment...

The school's custodian came onto wing 4 and started to shoot the shit with me. Just regular stuff about what a nightmare this week was going to be, yadda, yadda. Then the conversation turned to marriage and children. I said I didn't have any children and had no intention of getting married anytime in the near future.

"I understand that."

I mean, we spend more time with these kids than their parents do in most cases and I can't imagine having one of these guys myself.

"Yeah, I drive the bus in the afternoon and there's one little guy that just acts the fool everyday. He's the same little guy that drew that painting on your shirt there (we all had to wear these Lee Eagles Always Pass ["LEAP", get it?] t-shirts to school today to motivate the kids. The painting on the front shows three bald eagles sitting in desks taking the LEAP and thinking about their diplomas) You know what I didn't know that thing the eagles was thinking of was supposed to be a diploma. I thought it was a cigarette and what kind of cigarette you going to pass? But this kid that drew that he is just a handful. Just talking and playing and acting out on that bus. Everyday. And his parents won't let you do anything to him. I've turned that kid off the bus five times but it never does any good."

Yeah, you got that right. I mean what do they expect us to do with these kids when they won't do what we say? Talk it out with them? You can't reason with a 7th grader.


I'm not saying that I'll never have kids of my own but it just seems like a full time job and I wouldn't want to do it halfway the way I do some of the other things in my life.

"Yeah, you know my wife died this past year?"

No, sir, I didn't know that.

" We was married 23 years but was together longer than that. We thought about splitting up, too. I even left for a couple of nights once but came back. I thought about all of it and said I need to get back and be with my wife. A marriage is hard work. And we was married whe we was 20."

My parents got married when they were 18.

"Uh-huh, December 9. I will never forget that day. We was going to Houston to see her family. She has family in Houston. And we was fussing at each other about when we was going to go. I told her to take the day off work and we could drive over during the day, 'cause I've gotten to the point where I don't like to drive at night anymore. And I was fixing to just go on ahead without her but then decided I'd wait until she was off work, you know. And she was ready and packed and all so we drive over and met with her brother. And everything is fine that night and the next day. We went all over Houston doing our Christmas shopping; going to that mall that they got there. And I'm talking with my brother-in-law and having a fine time. That night we getting ready to eat supper and she's going to get her plate and sit at the kitchen table and I'm sitting at a coffee table in the living room and I tell her to come on in here and sit with me. And she comes to the table and sets down her place and it's like something pushed her over. Bam! Just like that she's out on the floor."

He took off his sunglasses and began to wipe his eyes and kinda takes deeper breathes and quicker too.

"Well, I did the CPR on her and got her breathing until the paramedics arrived and we get to the hospital and they kept her alive long enough to take a chest x-ray. They knew there wasn't nothing they could do for her because her heart had gotten so big. And the medicine they was giving her wasn't going to work. She had this enlarged heart muscle. And she died that night. But she never complained about her heart all the trip. We all knew she had trouble but we didn't know it was that bad."

I'm awfully sorry that happened.

"And I got a 14 year old at this school that I got to look after now. Do all the things that his momma did for him. Make sure he's eating and has clothes to wear and all that. If I can just get him out of here this year I know he'll be okay. He's got to do well on this test, you know?"

Yeah, well, I'm sure it'll be fine. I know this won't be any comfort but at least she died sudden like that. It could have been something like cancer that takes forever to do it. I mean, no one wants to go but there are better ways of going than others.

"And I'm worried about myself now. I go to the dentist and the doctor and all. Got me these new glasses. But I got to go see the doctor about that prostate and I don't want to do that."

Yeah, but you got to do that. It's really important to try to catch that early if you can. They can fix that.

"Oh, yeah, but it is mighty uncomfortable. You know?"

Yeah, I know.

We both laughed about this for a while.

"You start doing that when you hit 40?"

I'm 26.

Much more laughter.

Fade out.


  • At 1:34 PM, Blogger Brett Roman said…

    You don't find the blues, the blues find you.

  • At 1:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Transparent bullshit, billy. Nobody believes this crap.

  • At 8:55 PM, Anonymous kaycee said…

    wow, william, it is incredible how muh people like to criticize you...

    ...but don't have the fucking balls to put their name on their superficial, misguided, and unwelcome opinions.

    dear anonymous,
    had you written your name or email, i would have kept this between us pals, but since you are too chickenshit to reveal your secret identity to an unadoring public, i'll have to state for the record that you are

    didn't your momma ever teach you that if you don't have anything nice to say , SHUT THE FUCK UP?

    i'd be more eloquent, but you don't deserve it.
    keep your bile to yourself.

    i hope you choke on it.

  • At 8:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    p.s. hi bill! xoxo

  • At 8:56 PM, Anonymous kaycee said…

    (that was me.)

  • At 2:28 PM, Blogger Brett Roman said…

    It may be one of Billy’s students, only a child would waste time being a dick while posting under “Anonymous” on someone’s blog. If you are not a child then I really feel sorry for you, LAME!

  • At 6:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    So, am I suppose to be the bigger man and say "I'm sorry."? I've done that enough, thank you. It doesn't do any good anyway, just seems to make folks think your weak. And I'm tired of being seen as weak. Because, you know what? I am not weak. I'm strong. Stronger than you. You think it's been a free ride for me? You think I've had all the breaks and pissed them away? Man, get with it. You don't know me. Maybe you never did. Maybe you never wanted to. But I always wanted to know you, get closer, share something that went beyond the body and got closer to what we were here on this planet to do. And you chucked me in the potato wagon when you got what you wanted. Well, I'm not one to be fooled with no more. Watch it.

  • At 10:32 AM, Anonymous kaycee said…

    oh, man, now i get it.
    you're just a fucking weirdo with really bad grammar, and exhausted metaphors.

    i owuld rather you were on eof bill's students. then at leats you would have an excue for being pathetic, immature, and whiny.

  • At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I'm sick and tired of feeling I can't say something because other folks know better or I need to be political in my decision making. Just plain sick. I mean, you don't have to like everything I say, but I'm going to go right on and say it anyway. You don't like it, don't listen.

  • At 8:39 PM, Anonymous kaycee said…

    no one is trying to "edit" you, darling.

    and again, were you brave enough to leave a name and address, we could have this discussion in private.

    i still think you are an ogre, though, for continuing to comment negaively on someones personal space. it is immature and wrong.

    if you can contribute nothing else except poisonous, unhelpful tripe on a personl blog, then you are a sad excuse for a human being.

    i am not sure, however, what it says about me that i continue to waste my time on you.

    unlike your depressed and teen angsty self, i come here to check up on the antics of my friend, bill. i never, ever read a rule that states blogs must refrain from embellishment or even fiction...

    where the fuck would the world be without creativity?

    that is undoubtedly the real reason for this blog in the first place. if you feel the creative juices flowing again, go make your own blog and be vile and TAB there.

  • At 7:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I've been trying to determine where the really real world and this blog ends. We'll see in the next couple of days.

    I've been thinking a lot lately about the nature of truth and writing and this blog and all that. I mean, this isn't ALL of the stuff that I do. If I wrote all that down I would be fired and arrested and probably lose whatever pathetic readership I have as of now (well, maybe not all of you, but there wouldn't be any other comments on these suckers) Is this a boring blog? Do I need to jazz it up with "fictional" accounts of sex drugs and rock and roll? Let me know!

  • At 9:58 AM, Blogger Billy Vidrine said…

    So, he uses my words, but isn't me. I think this is some sort of weird compliment.

  • At 9:22 PM, Anonymous kaycee said…

    i think you have a stalker, bill.

  • At 9:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Eventhough I am saddened that Kaycee supposes from the 'really bad grammar and exhausted metaphors' of my recently posted 'poisonous, unhelpful tripe' that I must be a 'pathetic, immature, whiny, depressed and teen angsty self,' I am a proud peacock strutting around town today. Do you see my plumeage? Do you like it? Yours is nice too. But mine is the best!

  • At 5:12 AM, Blogger Noma said…

    I thought the conversation was touching, actually. Life does happen really fast. I hope you took that away from the dialog, Bunnyman. It's far more real than the comments about it.

  • At 9:19 AM, Anonymous bill said…

    Thanks, Noma. I'm glad you got something out of the story too. Anonymous is the coolest guy in the world. I respect his insight into my life and work. He must know me better than I know myself.

  • At 4:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Have you ever had a conversation with a friend about yourself and from what the friend tells you it is obvious they have no idea what's going on with you and your life? It is a very sad, lonely feeling, especially if you assume the person has a lot of insight into you and your life.

  • At 8:53 AM, Anonymous bill said…

    You got it in one, genius.

  • At 10:31 AM, Anonymous elle said…

    And what has ANY of that to do with Mr. Robinson?.. He's clearly the star here! Perhaps we can all just relax, sit back and laugh at the fact that a 26 year old man got mistaken for over 40. That's funny!

  • At 5:25 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    A man wiser than me once said, "It's hard out there for a pimp." And it is hard. And so am I.

  • At 5:26 PM, Blogger Chris said…

    I think anonymous is obviously someone that Bill threw the weenis on. Other than me. I have no regrets about that fateful night.

  • At 7:20 AM, Anonymous elle said…

    No, no chris. I think this person is obviously angry and hurt because the weenis has been DENIED!
    Sock it to 'em, Bunnyman!

  • At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Put up those dukes, son! Fight all those bastards off if they're coming at you. And when you lose, well, you fought, didn't you?

    Grand times. Glad I could facilitate. Hope all y'all dig my honesty here. Wish we could get it from y'all elsewhere.

  • At 2:13 PM, Blogger Brett Roman said…

    How long are you going to milk this post Billy?

  • At 3:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well, I told some of the folks involved with some of the posts here that I was writing about them.


    Well, I guess I want their attention, though I should probably direct my attentions elsewhere.

    But right now in my life I think that I would rather do this. I want you both (or all) to know how much I feel about what you have done to touch my life.

    Hey! Nobody meant to hurt anybody. Right?


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